Forewarned is Forearmed
by Revliledpembroke
Summary: A mysterious being appears before the Council, offering them a dire warning of things yet to come. Rated Teen because there are no little kids allowed in this clubhouse, only big kids can enter.
1. The Mysterious Figure

AN: Hiya, this is just a very stupid short thing I wanted to write. I have long wanted to write a speech where the Council gets chewed out by someone, pointing out all the stupid decisions they had made. That idea turned into this, someone forewarning the Council about humanity. Yes, the speaker does have future knowledge, but as this was intended as a one shot I have no intention to explain how, so suffer.

I don't own Mass Effect. Everything belongs to Bioware and EA and certainly not me.

"Venerable Council, I bring you grave news. In a few short months, you will be introduced to a new member to the galactic community. A species, called Humanity or Mankind, has made it off of their home planet, found their relay, and spread beyond their stars. Eight years ago, Humanity had not yet discovered Mass Effect technology. But, if events proceed as they currently are, a Turian patrol fleet will encounter the fledgling Human Systems Alliance at Relay 314 and promptly destroys them because they were attempting to open a relay.

Perhaps it would be best if there was never a Turian in any leadership position ever, if their first thought when coming across an unknown type of ship, attempting to open a relay, is to shoot at it, instead of saying, you know, 'Hey, don't do that! It's against the law!' or maybe 'Don't activate it unless you know where it leads because you don't know what it might let in!' Unless, of course, it is your standard procedure to shoot unknown ships. That could cause as much or even more trouble than opening the wrong door, because you could have a potentially powerful ally or destructive foe angry at you for killing their fleet of schoolchildren watching a relay be activated for the first time. Peaceful First Contact protocols are there for a reason, after all.

Humanity, unsure of itself and faced with a possible galactic war less than a decade into FTL space travel, will panic. The Turian fleet following the fleeing human ships into the relay, attacking the planet they are based from, dropping orbital debris to kill individual Marine fire teams in the process, certainly doesn't help the panic stop. At last, the Turian fleet, content in the knowledge that the brave Turian forces had defeated humanity's entire Navy, relax over the planet, until they get blindsided when the Humans bring in their Second Fleet. Before the war escalates, the Council will make its first smart decision in galactic history and negotiates peace between the two species.

I tell you this now because there is no greater ally or more implacable foe than humanity. Mankind can be as wise and diplomatic as the Asari, as disciplined and honor bound as any Turian, as technologically adept as any Quarian, as curious as the Salarians, or as brutal as any Krogan, savage as any Batarian, and as vicious as any Vorcha. The thing that is uniquely human, however, is their ambition and their fractiousness. Several humans in a room will have several dozen positions on the same topic. They will likely want a Council seat as soon as they are introduced because of their understanding of democracy and something called _**equal representation**_ , something the Asari should know about, given their status as a pure e-democracy, but which they apparently can't put into practice.

Humans are also uniquely adept at war. They aren't as hardy as Turians, but they are tougher than Asari. They also seem to run most of their warfare based on gambles. One of their most famous generals used the line "It's time to toss the dice" before he went into battle. Humans are very adept at turning losing battles into crushing victories, and they are also adept at both straight up slugfests and unconventional warfare.

Perhaps an example would be best to help set the stage for you. A long time ago, humanity was fighting a massive war against a great evil on their planet: a coalition of nations that advocated mass genocide against a people who had done nothing. One particular nation would have been slowly dragged into this war with much reluctance. They figured they were too far removed for it to affect them, as they were an ocean removed from the separate theaters of the war. Then they were attacked before they had entered the fight. The ally of the Nazis that attacked them was a nation state called Japan. They had been at war for years, amassing a humongous fleet and massive army, easily one of the top nations in war at the time, a night unbeatable juggernaut. They attacked a military target—a harbor containing many naval vessels—before any declaration of war was given and they awoke a sleeping giant. Apparently, attacking a nation with a large population and manufacturing base with plenty of resources, while you have none of the above, is not the best idea.

The giant was called the United States of America. Japan and the United States are very different nations, separated by an ocean and an imaginary line that marks the boundary between the Western Hemisphere and the Eastern Hemisphere. The West believed in the rights of the individual. The East did not believe the same.

Sure, they did believe individuals had rights, but the East had long been more collectivist than the West, they didn't value the life of an individual as much as the West, and while both groups believed in a code of honor, the East believed it more honorable to die than surrender, while the West would surrender or fight to the death depending on circumstance. Two warring Western nations could have an army of 50,000 surrender to an army of 100,000, while the same Western nation with the same sized army would have to find, fight, and kill almost every member of an Eastern army one-tenth the size.

The differences in the two nations were significant enough that, once they had encountered one another on the battlefield, they almost could not understand the way the other thought. They were completely alien to each other.

The USA was also in the midst of their Great Depression. They were very ill-prepared: stuck in an economic downturn and had a populace which was very divided about entering the war—not wanting to get involved in another foreign war, this being World War II. Then the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor, and you have never seen a more united nation. They threw themselves into the process of war more than they ever had. They managed to end the war in four years by outproducing every other nation and by nuking the nation that first attacked them. They didn't know if the nukes would set their atmosphere on fire, but they used them anyway.

So, honored Council, what happens if they find themselves once again attacked unprovoked, by an alien nation? Typically, only a very small amount of their population volunteers for their military, but that can easily change. I fear what might happen to your fleets, your peoples, or your homeworlds if humanity feels threatened enough...

Beware humanity Councilors, and make sure you try and be their friend. You don't want to be their enemy.

AN: And that's it. Don't mind the East/West thing. I tried being vague enough that I wouldn't really step on any toes.

This idea really was the gem of a potential self-insert/time travel/something equally bizarre fic where something strange happened and I/Shepard/Q/whoever organized a meeting with the Council to forewarn them, so humanity could have a better entrance on the galactic stage.

I cleaned up an error I noticed and changed my author's note, because as this has a second chapter, it isn't exactly a one shot anymore, is it?


	2. The Council

AN: So, I hadn't planned on doing a second chapter, but someone did point out that I didn't have the Councilors reactions. That wasn't the point, the point was a YEAH HUMANITY! kinda vibe, but it made me curious enough that I decided to do it. You ready? Here it is.

The Mysterious Figure turned around and disappeared, leaving the Councilors, those invaluable leaders of the united galaxy to discuss what they should do with this information on the new species.

"I think these aliens will make a good client race and we should send the full might of the Turian Fleet to conquer them" Sparatus thundered.

"No, no, no, no, no. Species too volatile. We have limited knowledge of them. We must capture specimens for study, do stupid, ill-advised, unnecessary and elaborate tests on them FOR SCIENCE! With the possibility of uplifting them in several years' time to serve as soldiers in a proxy war" said Valern energetically.

"Both of you are wrong! I'm shocked at you, wanting to do such things to a new species. No, what we really should do is invite them into the galactic community for their political discourse.

"What?"

"Really?"

Nope, let's let 'em so we Asari can find a new species to bang. I want to bang them as long as is possible. For hours and hours, without end. That's how we shall get their true measure" said Tevos sensually.

And lo! The mighty Councilors made their decisions, to fight, spy (with SCIENCE!), and *ahem* flirt, each according to their nature. Truly, 'tis a glorious time to be alive.

AN: I know, there isn't a lot of effort put into this. There wasn't meant to be. This is mainly to amuse me, and I'll be surprised if anyone else gets the same kick out of it that I do.

If I ever do write an actual sequel with everyone's reactions, just consider this an outtake.


End file.
